Why the posts are so slim lately....

Okay, so posting on the blog has been on my "to do" list for weeks, yet it's never crossed off, just moved to tomorrow, or maybe even to next week. In the off chance that I acutally sit down and read a friend's blog (rare), I feel the burden, but don't know where to start, what to say. Another time, I'll take a brief minute to skim the emails and see a comment that a sweet friend, or even a sweet "cyber" friend- from a blog post of ours that's really old - oh, my! It creeps in...a hint of guilt. I must admit...I'm a blogging slacker. Here's the why behind it all:

B.E. (Before Emmy), I was a bit consumed and spent much time on the computer. Through it, I enjoyed emailing, reading about homeschooling, scheduling, researching questions about curriculum, history, etc. really any idea as it surfaced. I tried to be faithful to post updates and pictures on our blog. I even kept up with goings on in the adoptive world, with our agency, encouraged others along the way and waited for news...any news about our files, read about friends' journeys in China, or even the sweet times of news of Emmy herself. Then, in the midst of the holidays, we traveled to China. There, blogging and email was our only way to connect with home (oh-so-necessary), to receive cousel and encouragement and to share with others our journey to this precious one who would be our daughter. Then we came home, were reunited with family and friends, enjoyed the holidays and began to settle in to real life, back home.

At first, computer time, uploading pictures and blogging seemed doable. I knew I might not get to it daily, but surely, I thought, we could update pictures and tell a quick funny story along the way. Somehow, that's not what happened.

Instead, in that oft anticipated "new year" season, sweet conviction hit me. God, in His kindness, showed me through various means (one of which was, ironically, a blog post of a friend at church, about her own conviction in the same vein) that my priorities needed shifting. I needed to pray more...and live dependent upon grace "in the moment." I needed to read His Word more, relying more upon the illumination of the Spirit and less on "helps" or other books and commentaries. And I needed to memorize scripture to help me in the pursuit of holiness.

God also showed me that I must be committed to growing in the areas of serving my husband, caring for my home and the teaching and training of my daughters. These must be top priority, after all, it is what God has called me to as a wife and mother. And thankfully, by the grace of God, it is what I LOVE to do. So, lately, I've had to say no to some of the things I'd like to do (ie. get on the computer, update the blog, sew, read, or do the "chitty-chatty" as a friend's son says) and yes to more practical things such as preparing, trying and revamping school and chore schedules, peacemaking and disciplining when it's "most inconvenient", and getting enough sleep to rise before the children. I know that I must be committed to discipline myself, and I desperately need to be held accountable. I'm still grappling with the details of practical application in all of these areas, but I know that if I continually place my thoughts before the Lord, He will guide me. It's a start in the right direction.

So, seldom do I sit down at the computer (the nice new computer we were so excited to have). When I do, often it's to check the weather (no TV makes that necessary!) or to send a quick email - perhaps to buy a book or steal a minute to catch up and read a blog or homeschooling article. I don't get those daily digests from the adoptive groups I so enjoyed before, and it's probably a good thing, too; I'm sure I'd be consumed once again. As for the updates and pictures I'd like to post....somehow many of our pictures stored in the computer since we got home from China are lost (I probably hit a wrong button...yikes!) So I'm praying we might "find" them in the computer somehow. (Advice: don't erase pictures from your memory card until you've backed them up on a disc or other memory device. That's all I'll say. Don't want to dwell here. They're just pictures and in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world.) I'll do what I can, when I can.

Until then: though I wish I was eloquent with words, I'm not. I wish I had some great insight or a few funny stories to tell; I don't. But I'll try not to let that stop me from taking a minute to write a little blurb.

There. My conscience is eased a bit. I've admitted to being blogging slacker. I'm on the road to recovery.